If you have an erection problem you will most likely feel as though you are a failure in bed, and perhaps as a man as well.
But you can cure this problem, develop a hard erection and become a potent lover - easily! I know because I have personal experience of this problem. I know what you may be going through.
I went through a period in my life when I suffered from erection problems all the time, and it was one of the most distressing experiences of my sexual life. And my partner wasn't so happy either.
But I'm happy to say that I cured my erectile difficulties and developed a reliable erection just like the rock hard ones I had in my twenties. And so can you!
Like all men, I wanted to be able to sport a hard erection, for my penis to be proudly upstanding for my lover, confident in the knowledge that I was going to be able to penetrate her easily and enjoy long lasting lovemaking. (Confident that my erection would last for the duration of our lovemaking, I mean!)
She and I both wanted to be able to enjoy sex at the pace that we desired - whether that meant fast and furious, or slow and relaxed, or anywhere in-between - without having to worry about getting through sex before my penis went flaccid once again. It was extremely stressful, and the constant worry that my erection would disappear probably made me completely impotent on many occasions.
One good thing, I suppose, was the fact that I was able to add my personal experience to my understanding of erection problems. I'm a sex therapist, and I've treated (and cured) erection problems in many men, helping them overcome impotence and get full potency back again. And since my own search for the right cure, the treatment that works, became all-consuming, at least I can speak and write about the problem with even more expertise!
After all, experiencing erection problems sharpens the mind. It's suddenly personal - and it's a massive problem when it intrudes on the intimacy of your sexual relationship. You're with a woman who wants to have sex with you. And you want her; you want to be able to penetrate her, to feel the pleasure of the moment when you enter her body in the act of love.
You want to know your erection will stay hard inside her for as long as it takes for both of you to get maximum pleasure. That, after all, is what being a man is all about. So I decided to write this website, which now contains all the information and knowledge you will ever need to cure your impotence and stop your erectile dysfunction.
Impotence is a very destructive problem: destructive of confidence, relationships, happiness and sexual pleasure. It is worse than other sexual problems because most men assume that they must have an erection to have sex - and in many ways this true.
For even though you can give a woman an orgasm with your mouth or fingers, half of the excitement of sex comes from feeling the swelling of your penis, the development of your erection, as you get more and more turned on during foreplay. After all, without an erection, what is sex about?
Just what do you do when she's had her orgasm if you don't have an erection? Stop altogether? Is that the end of the sexual treatment you had planned for each other?
Of course there are many causes of erection problems and erectile dysfunction, just as there are many causes other sexual problems. But there are cures which can stop almost all erectile difficulties - whether the cause is sexual anxiety, lack of sexual confidence, emotional problems, depression, or even physical problems.
Even if the problem is rooted in your relationship, you can still deal with your sexual issues, though you may need to tackle some relationship issues at the same time as you seek treatment for impotence.
We describe all the techniques and skills you need to deal with both the physical and the emotional issues associated with an erection problem (arguably there is only one erection problem - and that's not having an erection!).
Erectile dysfunction is extremely common. You may not know this, because most men don't talk about their sexual problems, but it is estimated that about one man in twelve in America cannot get an erection at any time. This astounding proportion of otherwise normal men hides a huge amount of heartbreak and pain.
Yet the extraordinary thing is that most erectile difficulties are easy to cure, and you don't have to work that hard at it! Sure, you only get out of any treatment what you put in, but for most men who have read this far, the investment in a cure will be so small compared to the pain of living with their problematic erection, that it will seem like hardly any effort at all to find a cure.
Unlike some sexual problems the lack of an erection necessary for sexual intercourse goes right to the heart of the sexual relationship between two people, and right to the heart of a man's sense of self.
Loss of erection, or the lack of an erection hard enough for penetration, cannot be ignored without a tacit understanding between a couple that sex is off the agenda - in which case the relationship is most likely in big trouble anyway.
Even if a couple agree to let the male give his partner oral sex or masturbate her to orgasm, what does he do when his penis isn't hard enough to penetrate her? Stops, turns over and goes to sleep, presumably?
So why do men suffer from erectile dysfunction, or in slightly less pejorative terms, erectile failure? There are many reasons, of course, but anxiety is high on the list. My own erection difficulties started when I was having sex with my girlfriend on holiday and someone paused by the window, obviously listening to (and maybe trying to see) us making love.
I obviously don't have a streak of exhibitionism, for that experience caused my penis to wilt and though I thought nothing of it at the time, the next time we went for it, I couldn't get it up. From then on, the cycle of anxiety and impotence became more and more challenging: each time I tried to have sex I'd spend time worrying about whether or not I would get an erection - and then I'd fail to. A vicious cycle of expectation and lack of fulfillment!
This may sound commonplace, but something similar happens to a lot of men, especially when they are sexually inexperienced. They may not be able to find the woman's vaginal opening, or they may ejaculate too quickly, or their partner may laugh at them for some reason, or make some confidence-destroying remark: whatever, the effect is to reduce a guy's confidence and make his erect penis goes flaccid. Then, the next time he comes to have sex, he worries about whether his penis will stand up. Usually it does, but if not, then he may start on a downward spiral of anxiety and impotence.....until he loses his erection completely and begins to avoid sex altogether!
Other erection problems stem from situations where a man was really not interested in sex but felt obliged for some reason to go along with his partner's demands. It's not surprising in such situations that a man's erection may not be especially hard, or may disappear.
Yet if he forgets that this is a natural response to stress or tiredness or aversion to his partner, he may come to the conclusion that there is something wrong with him or his penis. Then the downward cycle of self-doubt and impotence may being to develop.....and before he knows where he is, there's not an erection in sight!
For other men, there is an aging component to erection failure - they may have less testosterone in their bodies, they may be less excited by the things that once got them going. None of these situations are hard to cure, but you do need to know the right cure for each set of circumstances.
Your erection problem and associated erectile dysfunction will be cured when you treat it with these techniques.
But do remember that loss or lack of erection isn't just a physical issue. There's an emotional aspect to it all as well.
When you worry about not getting an erection, you make it less likely that you'll get one. And if you feel angry, tense, resentful, or turned-off by your partner, that won't help you get hard and enjoy sex either.
You may need to get your partner involved in the cure for your erection problem.
If you feel angry or hostile or you have some relationship issues, these will need to be dealt with as you progress through your treatment. Very few men are content not to have a fairly regular supply of sex, so if you get your erections back you may need to face a few relationship issues.
You may even get to a point of realizing that you and your partner are sexually incompatible, in which case you may be forced to decide whether to end the relationship or seek sex outside it.
Since anger is a barrier to intimacy, it's not surprising that anger can be at the root of erectile problems. You can't really connect sexually with someone whom you are angry at: and losing your erection is one way of avoiding such intimate contact. If you sense that issues like this are playing a part in your erectile dysfunction, they may need to be examined before your cure is complete and you are restored to full potency.
But if a relationship is worth preserving, it will survive, and my overall message to you is one of reassurance: curing erection problems is often easy and simple!
Other pages on this website about erection problems, erectile dysfunction and impotence