Erectile Dysfunction and your relationship |
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I know how much your struggle with erection problems is costing you in terms of your self-esteem and your sexual self-confidence. I've been there myself, and I hated it. I've known male friends whose world was shaken to the core when they developed erectile dysfunction (ED). And I've worked as a therapist with men who couldn't get it up and I know how they struggled with it too. But here's the good news - in most cases, erection problems can be solved. Sometimes, I have to admit, that may mean big changes in your relationship. It's very often the case that erection problems hint at a deeper relationship issue which neither you nor your partner has ever acknowledged. When you develop impotence, you have no choice but to do something about it - after all, what are you going to do for the rest of your life? Remain celibate? Many men find they go outside their relationship to get the sex they need, but I'd always ask them if they feel like this, is the relationship worth preserving? These are hard questions, and it's probably too early for you to even begin thinking about them, but I want you to know something vitally important. In most of the exercises and self help treatments described here, the assistance of your partner is absolutely vital. Without her help it won't be possible to do much of the work that will help you get your erection back. So - the question arises: is she with you as you look for a treatment for and a cure for your erection problems or is she pursuing some agenda of her own? For example, does she like sex or not? If she has a lot of serious issues with sex that she's not willing to face up to, the progress you make may be slow - unless she is also ready and willing to explore her sexual issues. But this website is not about female sexual issues, it's about erectile dysfunction and how to cure it, and so there is a real challenge if she's unwilling or unable to help you. For the moment, though, I'm working on the assumption that you have a partner who's on your side, who wants to help, and who is relaxed enough about sex to be able to take what comes up emotionally or practically when you get down to the business of working out where your erection has gone, and getting it back. And while you may have to swallow your pride, this could be good for your relationship: women love to help the man they love, and we so rarely give them the chance to do so. This time, relax, give up your desire to be in control, and let this be a co-operative exercise between you both. Erection problems are insidious. They can creep up on you without you knowing what's going on - so one day you can get an erection and apparently the next you can't: it's one of the most mysterious things about this problem. Of course, in reality most erection problems come on much more slowly than that. And the ones that do come on suddenly are easier to solve, because they are often down to a single sexual failure which starts a train of anxiety and erection failure that continues to get worse each time you have sex (or try to).
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