Erectile Dysfunction and Impotence
Self-help Treatment For Erection Problems
How You Can Solve Erection Problems With Self-help Treatment
So, you and your partner are going to treat the problem together. The good news is that this is not difficult - the "less good" news is that it requires dedication and patience, perhaps quite a lot of patience. But nothing ventured, nothing gained, and the treatment for full sexual health is one worth pursuing.
We start with some exercises designed to show you how enjoyable physical stimulation can be, as well as increase intimacy and connection with your partner. These exercises set you up to do the more specific work designed for erection problems.
Make a commitment to treat your erection problems, and go for it!
Treating erection problems
Getting out of your head and into your body
I described earlier how it is possible to separate mental arousal and physical arousal. The basic thing you need to do to enjoy sex more is to get out of your head space (mental arousal) and into your body (physical arousal) - in other words, to stop thinking, fantasizing, wishing, speculating and imagining, and to start enjoying the sensations your body has to offer you.
The best way to do this is to treat your problem with a technique called Sensate Focus. This helps you stay in touch with your body and what it is telling you - especially about how aroused you are. Before you do any of the specific exercises for erection problems, go through the Sensate Focus exercises with your partner. This will undoubtedly make you feel more connected and emotionally closer, as well as allowing you to enjoy the physical experience of sexual intimacy with a partner. Furthermore, it helps you to associate good feelings in your body with the experience of being sexually turned on, which makes it helpful for men who don't have much sex drive or who don't find they get very aroused. And it also helps to lessen anxiety, since when you focus on the "here and now" - that is to say what is happening to you, and what you are doing, at this very moment - you can't spend as much time worrying about what might happen (e.g. losing your erection).
The basis of sensate focus is the simple but often forgotten fact that sexual arousal is - in its most basic form - all about physical sensation. As adult men, if we become more used to getting aroused by imagery, imagination and fantasy, we can lose the simple pleasure of what it feels like to be aroused in our bodies.
Now, that's not to say that fantasy is wrong. It's very exciting, it's what men do, and it adds spice to our sex lives. Watching a beautiful woman undress and imagining her making love to you, or watching a porn film and imagining what it would be like to be in the place of the actors, and other such fantasies, can be very exciting. But the point is that when these things and others like them become the primary focus of your sexual arousal, then you might have a problem. The way you get aroused has become too focused on what you think as opposed to what you feel. In fact you lose your sense of how aroused you are in your body when you focus too much on what is going in in your mind. This can be a problem when you get older - you may need physical stimulation to get an erection, and you may have simply lost your awareness of this aspect of sex!
What's more, if you depend on fantasy to get aroused, you leave yourself open to the chances of losing your erection during sex if you can't get the right fantasy going at the right moment, or if you suddenly think of something that distracts you from your fantasy - like, "How hard is my cock?" or "How am I doing with her? Is she going to come?" You're basically too busy thinking about your performance to get aroused, be fully in the moment, enjoy the physical sensations of sex, or pay attention to your partner.
For example, if you focus on what it feels like to be
caressed by your partner, you won't be able to worry so much about whether you
are having an episode of erectile dysfunction. When you're enjoying what is happening to your body, you'll
be much less inclined to create your own excitement in your head! The simple
fact is this: if you have erection problems, sensate focus will be a reliable
and consistently successful way of treating them and getting an erection firm enough for